It is normal for children to exhibit defiance and resistance to authority as they grow and develop their own sense of independence. It is especially common during the elementary school years as children begin to assert their autonomy and assert their own opinions and perspectives.
In the situation you described, it is important to address the specific behavior rather than criticize your child’s character or personality. Instead of saying “you’re not paying attention” or “you’re not trying hard enough,” try pointing out the specific behavior that is causing the issue, such as “it seems like you are having a hard time sitting still and focusing while listening to the lesson.” This approach allows your child to recognize the specific behavior that needs to be changed, rather than feeling attacked or criticized.
It is also helpful to give your child some agency in finding solutions to the problem. For example, you can ask your child what they think would help them focus better during the lesson or how they can show that they are paying attention. This empowers your child to take ownership of their behavior and find ways to improve.
It is also important to be patient and understanding. Children, especially at this age, may struggle with attention and focus, and it is important to remember that they are still learning and developing. If your child is consistently having difficulty paying attention or following directions, it may be helpful to speak with their teacher or a school counselor to see if there are any underlying issues that need to be addressed.
It is important to approach discipline and correction with kindness and understanding, and to focus on specific behaviors rather than criticizing your child’s character. By giving your child the opportunity to find solutions and take ownership of their behavior, you can help them develop self-regulation and self-control.
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